On a certain level, we can relate. It is so hard to BELIEVE yourself that you truly were raped when the scenario doesn’t fit the societal “check list”. It is important that you share and that you speak out because you are validating me and I am validating you - that no matter where you go or how you dress no means no and yes means yes ! :) Thank you for sharing <3 I hope you find peace
<3 Thank you for reaching out. I truly appreciate this comment. You heal me by sharing thoughts like that <3 xoxo
Public Service Announcement: “rape” is not a synonym for every fucking mundane occurrence you happen to suffer. You were not “raped” by your test. You have not been “raped” when you lose your sports game, and it isn’t “rape” when your best friend tries to hug you.
Maybe take a step back and think about what the hell you’re actually saying before you trivialize something so devastating.
Let’s examine this:
Miss is a word for a woman that has not been married.
Mrs. is an abbreviation of the word Mistress, used as a title for a woman that is married or widowed.
Ms. is a title used for a woman whose marital status is unknown or irrelevant (as in business).
The letters Ms. are not an abbreviation of a word, they are an amalgamation drawn from the letters of Miss and Mrs.
On the other hand, a man is just a mister (Mr.)
You see men don’t have to determine their sexual availability like women.” —
Fuck the High Road: The Upside of Sinking to Their Level | The Nation
(from “Unpacking the ‘F’ Word” via Facebook)
“To all those who don’t think the rape joke was a problem, or rape jokes are a problem.
I get it, you’re a decent guy. I can even believe it. You’ve never raped anybody. You would NEVER rape anybody. You’re upset that all these feminists are trying to accuse you of doing something or connect you to doing something that, as far as you’re concerned, you’ve never done and would never condone.
And they’ve told you about triggers, and PTSD, and how one in six women is a survivor, and you get it. You do. But you can’t let every time someone gets all upset get in the way of you having a good time, right?
So fine. If all those arguments aren’t going anything for you, let me tell you this. And I tell you this because I genuinely believe you mean it when you say you don’t want to hurt anybody, and you don’t see the harm, and that it’s important to you to do your best to be a decent and good person. And I genuinely believe you when you say you would never associate with a rapist and you think rape really is a very bad thing.
Because this is why I refuse to take rape jokes sitting down-
6% of college age men, slightly over 1 in 20, will admit to raping someone in anonymous surveys, as long as the word “rape” isn’t used in the description of the act.
6% of Penny Arcade’s target demographic will admit to actually being rapists when asked.
A lot of people accuse feminists of thinking that all men are rapists. That’s not true. But do you know who think all men are rapists?
They really do. In psychological study, the profiling, the studies, it comes out again and again.
Virtually all rapists genuinely believe that all men rape, and other men just keep it hushed up better. And more, these people who really are rapists are constantly reaffirmed in their belief about the rest of mankind being rapists like them by things like rape jokes, that dismiss and normalize the idea of rape.
If one in twenty guys is a real and true rapist, and you have any amount of social activity with other guys like yourself, really cool guy, then it is almost a statistical certainty that one time hanging out with friends and their friends, playing Halo with a bunch of guys online, in a WoW guild, or elsewhere, you were talking to a rapist. Not your fault. You can’t tell a rapist apart any better than anyone else can. It’s not like they announce themselves.
But, here’s the thing. It’s very likely that in some of these interactions with these guys, at some point or another someone told a rape joke. You, decent guy that you are, understood that they didn’t mean it, and it was just a joke. And so you laughed.
And, decent guy who would never condone rape, who would step in and stop rape if he saw it, who understands that rape is awful and wrong and bad, when you laughed?
That rapist who was in the group with you, that rapist thought that you were on his side. That rapist knew that you were a rapist like him. And he felt validated, and he felt he was among his comrades.
You. The rapist’s comrade.
And if that doesn’t make you feel sick to your stomach, if that doesn’t make you want to throw up, if that doesn’t disturb you or bother you or make you feel like maybe you should at least consider not participating in that kind of humor anymore…
Well, maybe you aren’t as opposed to rapists as you claim.”
~ Time-Machine (via a comment at shakesville.com)
[thank you “Unpacking the ‘F’ Word on Facebook for posting this]
is More Powerful than
Anything That is
and when she grows up
in a world that tells her
she can’t walk down the street by herself
that “no” will be heard
it will roar and echo down the block
and she will never be told to keep
she will not know the meaning of the word” —
- Cried in my dad's arms tonight. It is always hardest for me to discuss my rape with my father. He has prided himself on being the provider and protector of his family.
- Dad: I don't understand why you have these horrible, bad days immediately after a good one. We were on the boat, you were happy
- Me: I'm so tired of the highs and lows.
- Me: I don't understand how people pop out of bed every day of their lives. I keep struggling. I am tired of battling.
- Dad: I may not understand it all, but I do notice that this year you have been stringing together more and more of these good days. You know what that's called?
- Dad: Progress
kindest because they
know what its
like to be